I am a first time mother.... and at times it can be quite overwhelming. It can also be exhausting, and frustrating at times. Maybe a little more than at times. The whole experience of feeding, cleaning up, playing, putting the baby down for a nap, playing, and back to feeding, cleaning up, playing, nap, playing ...... its a circle that does not end. I have not met any mothers, except for one and we'll discuss her later, have confessed that the circle of constant action can be quite energy sapping physically and mentally. Add to it the fact that any or every social interaction centers around my baby, or motherhood. It's like everything I am, apart from being a mother now, does'nt count.
At times it makes me quite angry that my life has changed so drastically. Specially in comparison to my husband's. I have taken a long leave of absence from work to be able to take care of my child. This decision was made based on certain unexpected personal reasons. There are times when I miss all the office action, the mail wars, the chai gossip sessions, the long tele-conferences (its a joke if u ask me! no work gets done, but what the hell !), and believe me the actual WORK too.
But then I look at my 10 and half month old, and he has the broadest smile for his mum, and he looks at me as its the bestest thing he has seen, it just melts and breaks my heart. Then I am not angry anymore, exhausted and tired maybe, but not angry. And the way he leaps towards me and scratches my face and pulls my hair and laughs when I yell in pain, its so magical. And I say a quick prayer, let him not grow so fast....
At times it makes me quite angry that my life has changed so drastically. Specially in comparison to my husband's. I have taken a long leave of absence from work to be able to take care of my child. This decision was made based on certain unexpected personal reasons. There are times when I miss all the office action, the mail wars, the chai gossip sessions, the long tele-conferences (its a joke if u ask me! no work gets done, but what the hell !), and believe me the actual WORK too.
But then I look at my 10 and half month old, and he has the broadest smile for his mum, and he looks at me as its the bestest thing he has seen, it just melts and breaks my heart. Then I am not angry anymore, exhausted and tired maybe, but not angry. And the way he leaps towards me and scratches my face and pulls my hair and laughs when I yell in pain, its so magical. And I say a quick prayer, let him not grow so fast....
Hi Sandy, I quite understand your plight. I gave up my job when I was expecting my daughter.It was difficult. But the years do fly by really fast and you miss the early years, which are really the best part, when you work. My daughter is now 16.
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